Zorro
~this page is about the fake rendition of Zorro specifically for Vortex of Crap and it's storyline. None of this has anything to do with that Zorro what was in a film one time. Zorro is the masked villain behind most evildoings in Vortex of Crap. This however was not known until the criminal made his biggest move yet, resulting in the September 2016 deletion. Not much is known about Zorro other than his heinous acts of crime, but we've pieced together as much as we can. Origins Not much is known about Zorro's backstory, or where he came from, however there are numerous conflicting and probably false rumours # Zorro is in fact an actual survivor of the holocaust, and has been driven mad by the horrors of what he witnessed. # Zorro was born to an unlikely couple: Mr and Mrs Potato Head. # Zorro has no backstory, and merely materialises to perform dastardly deeds whenever he pleases. # Zorro is literally RIGHT BEHIND YOU OH SHIT NIGGA Appearance Zorro usually wears a black hat, a black mask covering 3% of his face (yet somehow manages to mask any trace of who he really is) and has the stupidest fucking moustache imaginable. Seriously, this thing is a fucking french moustache where it's just two fucking lines but this nigga isn't REMOTELY french. Actually kill me. He looks like a bitch I guess The Deletion of Vortex of Crap In september 2016, Vortex of Crap was deleted, with no evidence whatsoever left at the scene of the crime. However, soon after, the words "FEEL THE SORROW OF ZORRO" were graffiti'd on the side of the toilet that was the entrance to the Vortex of Crap Headquarters. Clearly, this was his doing. There are hardly any ideas or theories as to how he was able to commit the crime, however the VoC team have brainstormed a few. # Zorro pretended to be a talented shitcore artist, e-mailing vortex of crap with his material in exchange for bandcamp access. # Zorro enlisted the help of notorious nitwit Eeesee to gain access to the bandcamp page. # Zorro is a fucking magician Other acts of a criminal nature Besides The Deletion, Zorro has claimed ownership of a number of despicable disasters. # Zorro committed the mysterious murder of The Git, and scattered the pages of the Git Diaries. # Zorro murdered Professor Buddingsquarks during his recording of the track about him shitting uncontrollably # Zorro drove the Philliam Warrels to near-extinction # Zorro uploaded an album anonymously to Vortex of Crap (the artist was promptly changed to Le Mystery Man as per tradition) # Zorro started the sausage cult # Zorro enlisted the help of the mercenary Chuckleberry Flatulant Dickmuncher to murder Michael Dicksense while he was on his quest to find the Platinum Arse # Zorro poisoned Oui's baguette and made it look like he merely choked to death on it # Zorro caused the necessary death of Llewd Llewyn # Zorro granted satan the power to cause the Itch of the Century # Zorro caused Michael Dicksense's cock to become someone else's, thus creating a Cock Proxy. # Zorro sht in my butt # Zorro said "wow fat alert" in toontown, the screenshot of which was used as a legacy VoC album cover. # Zorro did NOT press 10, even though he thinks cii a fuckin idiot It is believed that Zorro is behind other crimes as well, however there has been no evidence of such, nor has the masked madman left messages showing he did them. A list of POSSIBLE crimes are as follows # Zorro caused Llewd Llewyn to release Dickjob Fuckjob Sexjob unknowingly, thus bismirching the bandcamp with the most unfunniest album of all time # Zorro keeps giving Satan new things so he makes shit music to plague the bandcamp with # Zorro started the Bread cult, the members of which follow jesus chrust and the teachings of the breadble. # Zorro keeps posting fucking applejack lel faces everywhere however this is more likely to be notorious faggot, Cii. # Zorro keeps forcing Viricide Filly to postpone Back From Reality Current whereabouts and plotting Zorro is currently at large somewhere in the world planning his next move. The words "FEEL THE SORROW OF ZORRO" have been written on the bio page of the bandcamp. Several inside sources believe Zorro plans to face Michael Dicksense himself, after the failure of Chuckleberry Flatulant Dickmuncher and the Gaytatos.